Monty Python Sketch

The infamous Chartered Accountant sketch that started it all…...

Office set. Man sitting at desk. Mr Anchovy is standing waiting. The Counsellor looks at his watch then starts the sketch.

Counsellor (John Cleese):
Ah Mr Anchovy. Do sit down.

Anchovy (Michael Palin):
Thank you. Take the weight off the feet, eh?

Counsellor:
Yes, yes.

Anchovy:
Lovely weather for the time of year, I must say.

Counsellor:
Enough of this gay banter. And now Mr Anchovy, you asked us to advise you which job in life you were best suited for.

Blaggers Guide - Part 1

What do I need to know?

Accountancy is more or less a mathematical application of the scientific principle that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. The basics of accountancy can be summed up as being that for every debit, there should be an equal and opposite credit.

Debits go on the left, credits go on the right (or as I was taught it in school, debits go on the side of the windows, credits on the side of the door. Which got really confusing when they made us face the other…

Blaggers Guide - Part 2

Do accountants look down on other professions?

Accountants look down on everyone. But mostly they look down on actuaries, who - accountants say - use their personality as contraception. An actuary is the person who prepares statistical charts for insurance companies telling, for instance, what age you are most likely to die at and what level of insurance premium your salary suggests you’re most likely to suffer without complaining too loudly. An actuary is so good at calculating statistical probabilities that he automatically knows what the chances of getting a shag are as soon as…